oracelle

View Original

On boundaries

For this edit from the oracelle universe - we asked you to send us topics you would like to read about.

you suggested talking about
personal space, finding peace, taking breaks, finding your "USP", time management, saying "No", setting goals and reaching them
and a lot of other topics that we clustered among one umbrella that gathers all these themes:

SETTING AND HOLDING BOUNDARIES.

all images: Tonya Matyu

Boundary setting and holding is essential - maybe the most essential thing you can do to become and be exactly the person you want to be.
But many of us don't know what boundaries are, how to set them, or that we all need them at all.

We're happy to present

3 ORACELLE STEPS
OF DEALING WITH BOUNDARIES

The underlying belief when we do things to make others “feel” better is that we are responsible for how people feel. Some people don’t like hearing no. Other people may think you are “selfish” or “rude.” How people feel about your actions is based on their own previous experiences in the world. They have little or nothing to do with you. You are not responsible for the feelings created from them.

Humans are verbal creatures. We are used to expressing ourselves mainly through words. Boundaries are challenging because they involve follow up action. Not only do we have to do something different we have to avoid the desire to over-explain, apologize, or rationalize our choices to another. We need to commit to our decided action (or inaction depending on the situation) and avoid the tendency to talk our way out of doing so. Sometimes this means communicating non-verbally through our actions.

Sometimes we're afraid to confront others with truth in love or relationships. We're afraid to tell people what we really want, to admit that we hate going to certain restaurants or have trouble spending time with a friend's toxic cousin or hate when a boss dumps deadlines on us at 6 p.m. on a Friday. We conceal our true feelings because we're scared of people's reactions.

BUT this is another thing that boundaries help you with: The more you ground yourself with your values and limits, the more you'll be able to be very clear in your communication and build trust and deep connection with yourself and others. 

We think this is worth putting some work in this topic. 

We are well aware that there's an infinite list of actions we could add.

Therefore, we'd be thrilled if you share your ideas, tools and actions with us, we love to listen & learn!

Lots of love
team oracelle